Breaking Point

I SWEAR, I JUST HAD THESE ON THE OTHER DAY AND NOW THEY'VE DISAPPEARED.

There, that's better, a small shout.

But, really?

No, no, it's not the shoes that've got me at Breaking Point, it's the bloody maelstrom of being. And me, sucked right in, all tilt-a-whirl.

But what with enough vitamins and the way 24 hours turn into another round, I'll manage. But Partini knows that when the multitude of bubbles result in one large bubble in the centre of her forehead, it's time to give out the loot bags.

In three days' time, I'll have NO idea what that just meant. All I know is that I've got Fun Day tomorrow. How can school have Fun Day? Perhaps I have misunderstood something? And I'm really meant to be designing another website, or filling out a grant application, or editing something that has not been punctuated AT ALL?

Define fun.

Tissues Last Forever

Random stuff, like fancypants tissues, a map of Paris and a glossy wishful thinking mag.

The funny thing is, these three items were all together at some point in time. At the moment Partini can only see the tissues on a shelf. As yet unopened.

Which is why Partini has so much stuff. A lot of it stays in its packaging.

The map was well used, however, as was the mag.

Arms & Legs Everywhere

Once upon a time, Partini had a mentor who had many a mantra.
One of these was: "Arms and legs everywhere."

It meant:
"be on the ball"
"be ready for action"
"go go go"
"don't take anything for granted"

What Partini did not know at the time was that the arms and legs include the head.
Now she knows.

Power Failure

Here is my Electrical Wires bracelet.

It too can be considered an energy bracelet, but it is made out of shrinky-dinks, not an oil pipe. It is extremely light on my scrawny wrist.

I don't wear it so much in the winter, as it gets caught on my coat sleeve, but I keep it by my keyboard, for energy, of course.

Perhaps this is what keeps me going ...

'Cause it's sure as heck not all these translations about well-being and hot stone massages that I have no time for.

Nope, I don't need all that. I have my electrical wires to cross.

A Sight for Sore Eyes

Yes, yes, it is absolutely beautiful wool that happened to be procured in Siena on a miserable day when Partini was feeling down on herself despite (or was that because of) being in Alistair Macleod's class and succumbed to the lure of all this softness and colour. All in the past.

The point is that this is how her eyes feel right now.

Back to the cucumber slices.

And Another Thing

Of course, sometimes Partini just uses the sushi bag as part of the "Chair" installation.

It's not like she's ever going to sit down.

Poor Vision

This was last year's Easter Basket.

Clearly the Easter Rabbit mistook sushi for coloured eggs. However, Partini got a handbag out of the deal, so she's not complaining.

Bin Mining

It wasn't her fault.

Everyone knows that Partini is savoury, rather than sweet.

It all started the other day when the bus pulled away just as Partini made that last lunge towards it.

"Dang," she said. "Now I shall either have to walk in the rain for 20 minutes or wait in the damp for 15."

She headed into Billings for shelter and made a seasonal stop at the dollar store when she thought to linger over the chocolate bar selection.

"Well, it would be silly NOT to ..."

And it MUST have been the right thing to do because then she thought of turning right around and catching the next bus.

And it WAS the right thing because she had never in her LIFE had such a sweet, fresh Big Turk.

Hence the start of a new fixation. Sigh, just after she'd given up the Tab, too.

Just Say No

The Mater gave this to Partini about 4 years ago. It came in a set of two.

The only reason it made it to the photo shoot was its beauty and elegance.

I will not get sick.
Repeat:
I will not get sick.
I will not get sick.
I will not get sick.

After all, Mater just curses her aches and pains away. "Damn you, leave me alone."

Wedding Party

As opposed to Wedding Partini.

However - oh, look, a necklace Partini does NOT have. But it is soooooooo neat, loads of clerics officiating, maybe the bride was from some small town in the Beauce and her Monseigneur uncle came for the wedding, so he HAD to take part, but couldn't actually displace M. le Curé, so they agreed to do it together and no wonder the necklace is so busy, that's the ENTIRE town!

Partini was so busy in the head the other day that she put both contact lenses in one eye.

Alice

Well, it's down the rabbit hole for Partini for the next little while ... new batch of work just in and already I've learnt about San Francesco's tunic and the imposter tunic that has lurked nearby. But you can't put one over the particle accelerator. And then there's the Soroptimist Club, women doing good deeds. One day Partini will do good deeds, too.

Thirteen days and counting. Of school, not work. And she actually has the luxury (as bloody if) of a 12-day deadline. For approximately 800 articles. Sheesh. Goodbye bubbles.

Note to self: Is San Francesco the new Piero della Francesca?

Faint

Oh, hm, where did that YouTube video of Celebrity Boyfriend come from?
This particular screen shot happens to be when he is saying "...that is why I love champagne."

Yes, indeed, he is talking CHAMPAGNE BUBBLES with PARTINI, who is chasing him and gasping and ignoring silly ringing phone and and and

Don't tell Best Boy.

Here's the link:
Partini Goes For It

Snow Café

Partini was about to head out to the drugstore for Girl Stuff when she stumbled onto a scene in her front yard.

Best Boy had created a Snow Café.

Shouts and cries of "Snow Café! Snow Café!" were heard and it was not easy getting a seat. But Partini barged her way in and ordered a glass of the pink stuff from the many surrounding natural coolers.

Well, after giving the Sunday Times a go and giving up just as quickly, Partini shared her new story, just in from Cambridge, who happened to have Renée Zellweger and Jack "White Stripes" White over last night when their limo broke down in front of her house! And RZ cooked up the tastiest carbonara IN THE WORLD because she was HUNGRY. In Cambridge's house! And Jack picked up an electric guitar that happened to be lying around and strummed along to the cooking!

So after the pink stuff was all gone and the stories all told, Partini and Best Boy went off for the Girl Stuff, but stopped to tell the Scottish Lady first.

THAT's the kind of day it has been.

Hole in the Market

The sad thing is that these are inedible. And only serve to remind Miss Partini that she has no access to a cupcake shop. Why are there cupcake shops in other places?

Natasha gave these to her. (Or was it Anastasia? Partini always gets the names mixed up.) Perhaps one day the cupcakes will follow. Perhaps it will be the day Partini remembers the right name.

At any rate, P. will place her snack éclair on one of these plates very soon.

Droolworthy

One of Partini's favorite books.

She likes to pull it off the shelf and look at the photos, trying desperately to conjure up a house troll to cook her up some party food. It would be a wise little Yoda-type troll thingie, in a clean housecoat, ALWAYS at Partini's side (only in the house, mind, that wrinkly thing is NOT appearing in public with me) to impart wisdom, pick up after her, make phone calls, be at BECK and CALL. And would not even dream of backchat. Not afraid to deep fry.

Lent is almost over. If I can't have a Yoda, I'll settle for a bag of chips.

Armchair As Installation: Echo

While Partini cannot claim this as her own, she sees the value in clinging to the photograph rather than the entire window display.

She cannot stop looking at it.
She loves it.
She will marry it.

And there is a major PILE of sparkly sequins at the foot of the armchair.

And it makes her think of Magic Pony where something must be magic because she had some happy moments there. Yes, some shopping was involved, but mostly gifts. No, only gifts. Plus the Saturday afternoon sunshine. Plus a hawk devouring an urban pigeon and a Saturday afternoon crowd gawking. Magic.

Follow-up: White satin schoolbag made mad lunge for floor of bus.
Follow-up: Friend Fig informs us she once just about ran down Joe Clark with her Ford Exploder while he was jaywalking. He should've either made mad lunge OR taken the bus.

(Happy Birthday, Poopie.)

Installation

To most people this would be a pair of fabulous cushions on an armchair, right?

To Partini, it is an installation because she has no time to sit in it.

She does, however, enjoy it with her eyes.

Sometimes she even IMAGINES she is sitting, idling through a magazine. Idly.

Energy Bracelet

This is an Energy Bracelet.

It is cut from an oil pipe in Alberta.

If Partini could be sure that it would give her energy, she would buy one.

(Even though she is sure it would break her scrawny wrist.)

Pierre Elliott Trudeau

Look! An absolute MASS of Trudeau stuffies!

Honestly, if I didn't have the snapshot, I'd assume I made it all up, high on prosecco. You see, I did not purchase a single one because the real effect comes from having all of them, really.

Although, when my back was turned, someone bought the one with the violet dress shirt.

(The funny thing is I managed to conjure up Joe Clark on the street yesterday.

"Look, Partini," I said. "That man up ahead has exactly the gait of Joe Clark."

"Don't be silly, Partini," I replied. "Joe Clark is not walking toward you with a Shopper's Drug Mart bag in his hand."

By this point I was grinning maniacally with a "Yoo-hoo! Look at me, Mr. Former Prime Minister of This Great Country" glint in my eye. Obviously he was sensible enough to ward off any further lunatic faces by saying hello. He in his topcoat, me in my elegant parka.

You can bet I'm on the look out for Joe Clark stuffies.)

Days in White Satin

Well, it was a free bag. Saved it for almost two years until the perfect opportunity presented itself.

It is an excellent schoolbag, simply because it is streamlined enough not to be a massive impediment on the bus.

However, it is white satin. Not only is that completely freakish and far from practical, but downright weird. Outrageous.

BUT IT IS STILL CLEAN. Sometimes I hug it as it sits on my lap on the bus.

(It does not hold bulky things very well, like my lunch. I have to eat only flat items.)

À la Wendy Walgate

Yes! More stuff!

Look familiar? If not, scroll back to Hostess Gift. No, these are not exactly Wendy Walgate originals, but what Partini & Posse created at a workshop given by this most excellent artist!

Whoo-hoo!

Partini has many, many favorite artists. That is simply the way it is, although at a recent critical art writing workshop it was put forth that one should not gush about everything being one's favorite, something to do with credibility. However, Partini would lose ALL credibility as a human champagne bubble if she did not wallow in favorites, so stop being so uptight and enjoy life a little or even a LOT, for goodness' sakes!

Bring on nice people!
Bring on favorite artists!
Bring on celebrity boyfriends!
The more the merrier!

Live!

So there.

Butta la pasta!

Fly Lady Friend nabbed Partini.

"Hey," she said. "That's an awful lot of stuff."

Fly Lady Friend tried to keep Partini on the straight and narrow, as far as stuff was concerned. Or at least dancing the 27-Step Boogie.

"But it's not new stuff," whined Partini.

"Explain the concrete 2," said Fly Lady Friend with a smirk.

Partini was so busted.

Buttare la pasta is one thing, but she's sure as heck not throwing out her felt farfalle pasta purse. Although Miss Partini IS coming to the realization that she has an awful lots of handbags, cloth bags and purses. No wonder she's amassed an awful lot of stuff to put into them!

Pink Princess

Partini wouldn't have it any other way. How could she NOT have a pink princess phone?

This one hails from Illinois. It is her desk phone. It is lo-tech.

Partini is not a phone person.

It's that simple.

ISTI

Partini's favorite teapot in the whole world is this one. It was acquired in Brussels once upon a time when Partini lived in the European capital in order to attend translation school where students were always reminded that ISTI was the second best translation school in the world. Why they didn't all bugger off to Geneva to attend the best one is anyone's guess. Possibly access to the best teapots was what kept them in place.

Partini purchased said teapot at the nearby INNO department store and promptly jammed the lid. She had to scurry back and exchange it. And was very careful ever since.

Must be that sleepy time of day when Partini is nodding off ... tea makes sense, but champagne would make it all festive.

(By the way, new Celeb Boyfriend is Belgian. AND likes champagne. AND told Partini so. And she just has to figure out a way to prove it.)

Take A Number

Um, yeah. A concrete 2. But look, sparkly stuff in one section.

Well, it was part of an installation in Toronto called TAKE A NUMBER. So I did.

It was one of those things I just had to have. The artist thought so, too.

A woman I was walking with this morning thought I just had to have a something from her, too. We were chatting, then she started rummaging in her bag. Finally she produced a Kleenex.

"Tissue?" she asked, proffering.

No one has ever done that before.

Bling

When is a Timbit not a Timbit?

Why, when it's a Timpin, of course!

Partini loves Timbits because they are donut holes. How can you beat the concept?

"What is that you're eating?"
"A donut hole. D'uh."

It's the (w)hole negative-positive thing, on so many levels. Like having your cake and eating its hole. Hmm... whatever.

But now you can wear your love for holes with pride, with Timpins, 6 tiny brooches that will make your mouth water. The donut hole as jewellery, who knew?!

(Funny how jelly Timbits exist, seeing as jelly donuts come without a hole. Don't question, just eat.)

Hostess Gift

Aha! Stuff Partini does not actually own!

Temptation was indeed great, as these pieces are by a favorite artist, Wendy Walgate and were spotted during Partini's rovings and duties last weekend during the Interior Design Show and the 2 satellites. The most brilliant way to succumb was to buy one as a hostess gift! Each bird has a little metal tag with the number 5461. Partini thought it unusual that they all bore the same number until she learned that this was the number of birds recorded killed by light pollution in Toronto last year.

Host and Hostess were top notch and just thinking about her stay makes P. feel all warm and fuzzy. In fact, she now considers them her new set of parents. Subway tokens were provided, Dr. Bach's Rescue Remedy applied to the tongue, crab legs and breast of duck applied to the stomach with a dose of ice wine for the digestion. They listened at length to her girlish tales about the latest Celebrity Boyfriend and thoughtfully saved newspaper articles about him. (Okay, one.) They encouraged her to ring from the streetcar on her way home. She was the first to use their new box spring. Can a relationship can any better?

Sigh.